Three Times is Perfect
by kaitalaforever
Summary: Rated M for suicide/character death. One-shot. Very depressing/angsty  but would you really expect anything else from me? :P  Another poem from Kai's perspective.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Beyblade series or characters. My evident overflowing angst though, is totally my own.

**Warnings: **Suicide/Character Death.

**A/N - **I'm in a particularly bad mood/depression crash at the moment. Which means I'm writing some of the stuff I'm most proud of, but still, poor Tala. He's bearing the brunt of my emo-ness :P

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Everyone was surprised when he killed himself

My surprise felt more like guilt than anything else

That crazy bastard filled himself up with painkillers and vodka,

Slashed his wrists with his best knife,

And hung himself with a bolt of lace

(where he got it, I have no idea)

The lace broke, and he hit the ground

Paralyzed

But the blood loss and poisoning got to him before anyone knew

And before I could save him

His suicide note read;

'Drowning people need me more than the drowned'

Tala was beautiful

The kind of painfully innocent beauty

The kind that made your hands shake, wondering what you would do

The kind of beauty that reminded you of a wolf, or a phoenix

He had these huge ice blue eyes- you knew they were always looking at you,

Sweeping up the details of your entire life

In a blink of long lashes

He was beautiful,

And that is why he had to die.

It was winter when I broke him

He told me that the trees in the park looked like skeletons, because they were bare and gray

Gray with an a, he insisted

Because grey with an e was too delicate and pretty for skeletons

I told him he was too bizarre

And that he wasn't hot enough to deal with all the crazy

But his hands didn't shake, and his wolf-eyes didn't fill with tears

Instead, he told me we were beauty and the beast

And he didn't know who was who

He left me standing alone by the lake

With the skeletons trees eyeing me, and the ducks quacking suspiciously

If he was trying to confuse me

It worked far too well

A lot of times I wake up and he's staring at me

_"I miss you when you're sleeping."_

_"I don't."_

_"I know."_

He kisses me on the cheek

And hums nursery rhymes until I'm asleep again

Tala texts me weird things at weird hours

The buzzing of my phone wakes me up at 3, 4, 5 in the morning

When everyone else is quiet

When the sky is still midnight-coloured

_1:33am:_ i amn in ther sdhower. i puyt ythe cellk phjone oin a zoplocvk. its hjatrd to typoe. lkove yoiui.

_3:28am:_ the clouds covered the moon. it looks like they ate her, overthrew her; queen of the night's throne taken. are you coming over tomorrow?

_3:42am:_ Kai, how many freckles do i have on my back? i want seven but i can't see.

_4: 28am:_ your eyes are red and mine are blue. i wonder if our kids could have green eyes? then we could name them Seaweed and move to a little town by the beach. love you, call me.

_5:17am:_ i'm going to sleep now. i wonder if i'll dream about those people again, the drowning ones. they need me. do you need me more than them? it's hard to know where to stay.

I tell him to stop being so fucking weird

To act normal, and get mad at him

I don't mean to yell

I just wish he were ordinary

He laughs

Spinning away from me into the grass

He tells me I have 'affectionate annoyance'.

_"Do you ever think about it?"_

He smiles absently

I wish I could know what amuses him

But it is far away.

_"Yes. Do you?"_

We're sprawled underneath the crumpled covers

Drifting in and out off sleep

When he talks, I can hear his dreams coating the back of his throat

He is so small

Petite frame and baby-bird bones

I'm always scared I will hurt him

He is too fragile

_"How would you do it?"_

_"I would take a bunch of pills, slit my wrists, and then hang myself."_

_"That's a lot. You'd only need one."_

_"Monsters in movies never die the first time. _

_Stomach__s can be pumped, wrists can be sewn, nooses can snap. _

_Three times is perfect."_

I lowered my voice

Trying to feel concern

Though I felt it glamorously dangerous

Talking about death

We were warm, living bodies in bed

_"You wouldn't really do it__ though, right?"_

He shrugs, ice blue eyes casting light into mine

_"Not today__."_


End file.
